Our source of forgiveness is Jesus. If He had not forgiven us, we would not have the potential to forgive. We have the potential to forgive any and all wrongs no matter how severe or how terrible. We must, for our own good, choose from the heart to forgive. It is a choice, an act of the will, which we can choose over our feelings. Forgiving is a decision. We make the decision to forgive or not to forgive. Making no decision is actually a decision to remain in unforgiveness.
Not only must we forgive every person, but we must also forgive ourselves for anything that we have done to hurt others or ourselves. We must also forgive God for anytime that we feel that He let us down. We also may need to forgive organizations or institutions, as we would a person. The tormentors do not care who or what the unforgiveness is against because any unforgiveness gives them the license to do their deadly, painful work.
Matthew 18: 21-35: Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’
“Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
Matthew 6: 9-15: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Mark 11:22-26: So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea’, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will come to pass, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
We may not feel like forgiving. On the contrary, our flesh may be screaming for vengeance. In the heat of the situation, everything in us may desire to do great harm to the offender. Our natural, fleshly drive to destroy the offending person is there for our protection in the natural world. If an offender is attempting to rape or murder my child, I will stop at nothing to prevent that from happening. The fatherly rage that would cause me to do great harm to the offender to stop or prevent the attack is natural. The problem develops after the offense is committed and my rage can do nothing to stop or prevent it. That natural desire now becomes a desire to become like God and do His work by taking vengeance on the offender.
Hebrews 10: 30-31: For we know Him Who said, “Vengeance is Mine: I will repay,” says the Lord. And again, “The Lord will judge His people.” It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
God wants to convert the pain of the offense into love–that wonderful, peaceful “love-flow” of God Himself moving upon our heart. The more painful the offense, the sweeter the love will be that results from the act of forgiveness. Personally, I am not sure we can ever really know the overwhelming, pure, sweet love of God apart from experiencing deep pain and the beautiful love that forgiving produces.
The choice is ours. Because Jesus forgave us while we were yet sinners, we have the potential, by His power, to forgive. Are you ready to be set free from the torment of unforgiveness and forgive no matter what? Jesus said, “Whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him”. When you are ready to make the decision to forgive, pray something like the following prayer from your heart.
I repent of all unforgiveness in my life. In the name of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, as an act of my will, I choose to forgive from my heart anyone and everyone who has ever hurt me or harmed me in any way, in my entire life. I specifically choose to forgive _____________, __________, and _________.
I release them in Jesus’ name. I say it is all right if they never make it right. I hold nothing against them, and, in the name of Jesus, I ask You, Father, to bless them, to meet their needs in all areas of their lives.
Father, I forgive myself for all I have done to hurt or harm myself and others; and, Father, I forgive You for any time I felt that You let me down. I say that You are good, God, and I trust You with my life. Father, I thank You that I am forgiven and that I have forgiven.
In the name of Jesus, I command all powers of darkness, you may never again use any of this unforgiveness to bring torment or stress of any form into my life.
Father, I thank You that I have forgiven and that I am forgiven. Thank You Father, in the name of Jesus.
HEALING THE HEART BEYOND FORGIVING
Painful experiences of our lives are locked into the permanent memory section of our minds. Painful memories, whether conscious or subconscious, have affected our spirit and may have wounded it. These painful memories may also have crushed our will and shattered our emotions. These negative, painful experiences stored in our heart cause us to see and understand life according to our experiences. They serve to control us by affecting our behavior. We are bound into negative patterns by the stored pains of the past. These detrimental patterns must be changed for us to walk in kingdom freedom.
The ministry of Christ Jesus includes healing the brokenhearted. God has provided all that we need in Jesus to heal our wounded spirit and soul. We need only to appropriate the ministry of Jesus to heal our broken heart and to be set free from the bondage of our wounds. When negative experiences stored in our memory are healed, they will no longer cause bitterness to return.
Psalm 25: 17-19: The troubles of my heart have enlarged; Oh, bring me out of my distresses! Look on my affliction and my pain, and forgive all my sins. Consider my enemies, for they are many; and they hate me with cruel hatred.
Psalm 147: 9-3: The Lord builds up Jerusalem; He gathers together the outcasts of Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Isaiah 6l: 1-4: “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. And they shall rebuild the old ruins, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations.”
Luke 4:18-1 9a: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor. He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed (bruised), to preach the acceptable year of the Lord.”
Next, the heavy hammer smashes the windshield and windows. The car windows are like our emotions; the blows of stressful experiences shatter them. Finally, the big hammer begins to repeatedly smash into the motor, until that which makes the car go is destroyed; just like the repeated blows of negative wounding experiences crush our will. Our inner man becomes a battered and shattered wreck with no power or motivation to drive down the road of life.
cover our dents and broken parts. We must also defend ourselves against any more painful blows; therefore, we often defend ourselves by attacking others.
Not only can our past wounds cause us to have a poor self-image, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and lack of motivation, they can also cause unreasonable fear that cripples us. This irrational fear causes us to avoid relationships and life situations that God desires for us. Fear can cause us to act and react in such a way that we may miss entering into some of the good things God desires for us.
We may often think we are reacting to circumstances, but we may actually be reacting from an attitude created by our past hurting memories.
The man screamed out in pain and fear. He began running limping and screaming toward his house. In his haste, he tripped and fell headlong onto the rough driveway, injuring his knees and hands. The mail was scattered and left as the man scrambled to his feet again and continued his hysterical run to his house limping and bleeding.
Well, after many months of not going to the mailbox, there came a time when he really needed to go. He was quite sure the check that he was waiting for was in the box, and he needed to get it in the bank. He had gained confidence as he had observed others safely getting their mail; so, he decided to try it. He carried a gun, a big stick and a mace protection device. And, just in case all else might fail, he wore heavy, tall leather boots and two pairs of heavy pants. (Do some of us ever walk around emotionally “armed and ready” to defend ourselves like this man?)
One day, several months later, as the man was getting his mail, a very friendly, little black puppy came toward the man. The puppy was happily bouncing along, wagging his tail, hoping to make a new friend and maybe get a few loving pats.
This man was not reacting to the reality of the situation, but was reacting from past wounds stored in his memory. Hurting memories caused him to be unable to receive affection from the puppy or to be able to give affection. He hurt the little puppy, and may have planted seeds in the puppy that someday could cause it to bite him, just as he feared.
THE PROCESS OF HEALING
The ministry of Jesus, by the Holy Spirit, flowing through other people, can bring
unconditional love, acceptance, mercy, grace, and forgiveness are supplied. However, if something other than these attitudes exist within the people involved, more wounding can occur as we begin to let down our defenses and open ourselves to others.
Only healed people can help heal people. Hurting people always hurt people.
For some of us with severe experiences in our past it may be helpful to pray specifically for healing of our wounded hearts. It may also be very helpful to pray with another godly person.
James 5:16: Confess your trespasses (faults) to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed …
release the memories to God for healing. Holding on to a negative past can hinder a godly future. Attaining the resurrection life of Christ involves forgetting those things, which are behind and reaching forward to those things, which are ahead (Philippians 3:11-14). By an act of our will, we must choose to stop relating to stress from past memories. Although it is our decision, it is Christ who does the work.
James 4:2 KJV, says, “Ye have not because ye ask not”. Asking specifically is an important principle of prayer. If we ask God to heal our hurting memories now, and believe in our heart that we have what we ask, it is done. We must confess with our mouth it is done and thank Him for healing the memory now (Mark 11:23). We must not continue to meditate the memory and pray for God to heal us someday. We are not asking for Jesus to provide healing for us. It is already fully provided. We are coming into agreement with what Jesus has provided and appropriating it into our lives.
Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I release to You for healing all the wounded, hurting, or negative memories of my entire life, whether conscious or subconscious, from my conception through my birth, the first few years of my life, my childhood, all my adult life, and to this present moment. I specifically release to You for healing the memory of______________, _____________, _____________, and______________—-
I release all these memories to You. Heal me now. Give me release of all the stress. I choose by an act of my will never again to receive stress from these memories. Thank You for healing me. I say that I am healed of all these memories, in Jesus’ name. Thank You, Father, for healing me.
I command all powers of darkness, in the name of Jesus, you may never again use any of these memories to bring stress into my life or affect my life in any negative way, in Jesus’ name.
We must daily walk in the process of repentance, forgiveness, and healing–repentance for every adulterated motive, as we recognize them, forgiveness for every offense as they occur, and healing for every painful experience. If we are wounded during the course of the day, we can be completely healed before bedtime.
peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.
(Ephesians 1:17-19).
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